This happened a few weeks ago:
It was bittersweet and I immediately started crying. I’m so happy for the baby, but I’m also sad for Jackson.
The Bazooke is just over seven months old. His development surpassed Jackson’s months ago. I know, it’s sad. I thought I was over it but I’ve come to realize that it may get easier to deal with, but I’ll always be a little sad for Jackson when his little brother does something that he can’t. Don’t get me wrong; I am super excited for the Bazooke and everything he can do… I’m also hyper-sensitive about his development. If Luca doesn’t do something I think he should be doing, I get anxious until he does it. Double-edge sword.
The Bazooke has taught me many, many lessons about typical kids. I can also relate better to my friends with normal children because I’m now experiencing what they’ve experienced. Here are some examples of things I didn’t know until I had a typical child:
- I now know why baby books are cardboard instead of paper…because babies crinkle the pages!
- Babies are LOUD!!! The Bazooka lives out LOUD! He “communicates” when he is hungry, tired, or not the center of attention.
- Babies know how to play with toys. If I give Luca a toy, he figures out how to make it work and plays with it. This is slightly sad when he immediately gets how to use a toy that Jackson took months/years to learn how to play with.
- Babies get very, very dirty, especially when they try to feed themselves.
- Babies can see! This may seem like common sense to you, but it’s amazing to me. The Bazooke laughs when I make faces at him; he cries if he sees his bottle and I do not give it to him immediately; he stalks the cat with his eyes; he smiles at me when I come in his room in the mornings.
- The Bazooke takes more baths than Jackson. Let me explain. The Bazooke can touch his junk and likes to touch his junk. He doesn’t know/care if his junk is clean or has poo on it. Therefore, the Bazooke can get poo on his hands. If poo is on his hands, then it can get on his feet because he likes to touch his feet. The Bazooke wiggles and squirms around. He does this a lot, even when he has poo in his pants and, as a result, the poo doesn’t stay in his pants. Hence, the Bazooke takes more baths than Jackson.
- I don’t worry about the Bazooke. People say you worry about everything with your first child and don’t so much care about all the little things with the second child. This is especially true when the first child is special needs and the second child is typical.
It is so different raising a special needs child and a typical kid. Everything each child does is amazing. It’s hard to explain. Luca does something new almost every day. Jackson’s progress is slower. I love Jackson’s smile, cooing noises and the way he lights up when I come home from work. I love Luca’s belly laugh, the fact that he can sit up, roll over, and attempt to feed himself. I love them both so much and I appreciate everything they can and cannot do.